


Songs of Another Life

by imadisneyprincessyo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, bottom!Dean, dean smith!verse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 00:03:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3789214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imadisneyprincessyo/pseuds/imadisneyprincessyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean fights with Lisa. Cas is there to soothe the pain. Ongoing fic. Suggestions are highly appreciated!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Another Saturday Night

They’re fighting again.

Dean doesn’t remember what about this time.

“The fuck are you talking about?” He screamed at Lisa.

“I mean you’re always doing something with him!”

That’s right. They’re fighting about his friendship with his secretary, Castiel.

“He’s my secretary! I work with him!”

“I got him the position!”

Gulp.

Memories of Castiel fucking him on his desk (better that Lisa ever had) flick through his mind.

“Dean? What the hell?”

Dean’s blushing. He growled, kicking a broken box.

“Fuck off, Lisa.”

Lisa turns a furious red. “Excuse me? This is my house!”

“Then I’ll fucking leave!” Dean storms up the stairs of the house to their room.

“Move the fuck out! See if I fucking care!” Lisa screams after him, hateful.

“I fucking will then!” Dean retorts, just as furious. “I’m moving the fuck out! You can tell Ben his bitch of a mother kicked me the hell out of the house!”

A knock on the front door.

Well, shit.

“Lisa?” A female voice calls. “Everything okay?”

Dean tumbles down the stairs. They have to maintain an image is what Lisa thinks. He kisses her cheek.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Lisa chirps. Dean wonders how she can be so happy.

Then Lisa kisses him. It’s weird. Her hands go up his shirt. Double weird. Dean feels a little violated. The poor woman looks uncomfortable.

“I should go.”

“Yeah,” Lisa breathes, not even looking away from Dean.

The door closes.

Dean stares for a moment.

“Let’s have sex.”

Did Lisa really just say that?

“No!” With that Dean goes back upstairs, rips his duffle bag out of the closet. Packs all his belongings in there. Dean doesn’t have much in this world.

Lisa appears. “Stay, Dean, I didn’t mean it.”

“No. What are you? High?”

“High on you.”

“Cut it out.”

“Dean. We belong together. Stay.”

“Lisa, back the fuck off.”

Lisa takes a fucking step forward.

Dean, the army man he is, does what comes natural to him. He pulls a gun out of his waistband.

Lisa stops dead in her tracks.

“Put it down, Dean. You love me.”

Her words are hard to fight, but Dean knows the truth. He zips up his bag, puts away the gun. Walks the fuck out of his home. What used to be his home. He walks to his beloved car he had stashed away for so many years, slips inside. Starts her purring like new. Dean backs out and starts down the road.

“It’s a terrible life,” he mutters. He keeps driving.

Dead mother.

Dead father.

Why does all the shit happen to him? Dean has no idea.

The road suddenly feels too long. The car too hot. Everything too much.

He checks the street. C. Cas doesn’t live too far from here. Dean takes a sharp left, almost missing the turn at first, going by memory from this point on.

Down two blocks, right, another five blocks, left. Blue house on the right, just after the curve. Dean pulls into the driveway and parks, going up to the door.

Knock.

Cas answers on the first knock, laughing at somebody behind the door. Dean slumps. His life is over. But of course. Cas can have his own life. Why should Dean get in the way of that?

Castiel sees Dean, catches his mid-slump.

“You’re burning up,” is all Dean hears before he faints from the effort of living at this point.

****************************************************************

He wakes up much later, in a bed with just his boxers on. He’s wrapped up in so many blankets, and it feels so good. The door creaks open to reveal Cas, Cas, and someone else.

Dean feels a little bad for ruining their date, but he had to get away from Lisa. Suddenly, Dean feels much better. He doesn’t have to deal with Lisa any more. He only had eyes for Castiel anyway.

He, Dean Michael Winchester, is finally free.

Cas sits on the edge of the bed, saying something like “sit up and eat, Dean, you have the flu,” and there’s a spoon at his mouth, all Dean can do is swallow. It’s broth, chicken, and all Dean can handle right now. Cas smiles. Praise flows forth. Feels so nice.

“Very good, Dean. Would you like to meet my brother Gabriel?” Dean shakes his head, and the man in the corner laughs.

“I don’t blame him, Cassie. He looks sick as a dog.”

Dean just nods. What else can he do? The man, Gabriel, isn’t Castiel’s date. That makes Dean feel much, much better.

“Dean? Mind if I ask why you’re here?” Cas requests.

“Lisa. She’s fucking nuts.”

“Am I being fired?” Cas looks nervous.

“No. Never. She can’t.”

“So Lisa, huh?”

“Yeah. Cas? I’m real tired.”

“Then sleep, Dean. I’ll wake you up when you need to eat again. Okay?”

“Okay.”

 

Nightmares.

Dean’s in hell. Cas is there. Threatening to leave his sorry ass. Dean cannot handle this anymore. He wakes up, screaming and thrashing like he’s back in the battlefield. Dean never wanted to go back.

Cas bursts into the room, armed with a baseball bat. “Dean?!” He demands, looking about wildly. “What’s going on? What’s happening?”

Dean collapses in on himself. “Don’t leave me,” he whimpers, hidden in the safety of his blankets. “Please, stay. Don’t leave me.”

Cas puts the bat down, leaning it against the wall. “Nightmares. Okay. That I can handle.” He sits by him on the bed, pulling Dean into his lap. “Dean. I won’t leave you. I’m right here. I lo- I won’t leave, okay? What were you dreaming about?”

“I was-“ Dean’s voice breaks. “I was back in the battlefield. Hell. You killed me. You left me. Please don’t leave me,” Dean whispers, dissolving into sobs again.

Cas looks like he has o idea how to handle this. Why would he be in Dean’s nightmares? Castiel cannot mean that much to Dean. 

Right?

Dean sighs sleepily. “Stay with me. Please, Cas, don’t go.”

Cas sighs. “I’ll call you and I in sick. Okay? We have jobs to worry about too. We have to be responsible.”

Dean nods, then takes a deep breath and moves no more. Cas watches his and pets his head softly. His little angel.


	2. You Shook Me All Night Long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Smut.

After Dean fell asleep, Castiel stayed. He held the man through the fever and the throwing up, through the nightmares, until it all was finally over and Dean was well again. But nothing was the same after that.

“Dean, you have nowhere to go. Just stay here for the time being until you find a place.” Castiel couldn’t tell his boss how in love with him he was. Castiel wouldn’t even admit it to himself. Besides, it would be breaking company rules. So Castiel stayed silent.

Dean agreed to stay. Where else could he go? It wouldn’t be too long until he found an apartment or something; that was what Dean secretly dreaded. That was what Cas didn’t know.

They went back to work the day after Dean got better. Cas drove them in his little car, not wanting Dean to leave him. He wasn’t sure Dean was well enough to drive. Couldn’t hurt to drive him to work; there were no rules against that.

So he did. Cas took comfort in the knowledge that if Dean wanted sex, now he would come to Cas first for it.

A few days later, Dean needed it.

When they got home, Dean pushed Cas against the wall and roughly bit his neck. Cas easily turned them around and pinned Dean to the wall, breathing hard.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Cas asked coolly. The game had begun.

“I need it,” Dean whispered, his freckled face flushed and green eyes dark with lust. “I need it so bad.”

“Why should I give it to you? You just disobeyed any pervious order I have given you. I should suck your dick until you’re ready to come, then plug you up and make you go to work, do some overtime. Without being allowed to touch yourself. And if you do, you’ll be punished.”

“No! No. Please. I didn’t mean it. Please.”

Castiel loved it when Dean was all eyes and begging and needy.

“Please what?” Cas wanted to hear it.

“Please, sir.”

The reward was a roll of the hips and a soft bite to the neck.

Dean moaned, helpless. Cas smirked, loving every moment that Dean was at his mercy. His favorite pastime may as well be making Dean want it more and more.

“Please,” Dean panted. “Please, sir, more.”

Castiel took the opportunity to take a step back and appreciate what was being offered. “Strip,” he finally said. Dean complied quickly and easily, knowing Cas wanted a show. So off came the slacks, slowly, showing off the panties with little bows along the top. Cas nodded approvingly. 

“You’ve been preparing for this, haven’t you my naughty boy?”

Dean nodded bashfully, unbuttoning his shirt. Cas watched on lazily, the heel of his palm pressing against his dick. Dean stopped his striptease for a moment, eyes pleading as he fell to his knees and moved Cas’ hand.

“Good boy,” Cas murmured, his breath hitching up a notch. “You going to suck it real good, just like you need to?”

Dean nodded, slowly unbuttoning Castiel’s pants as if he were asking for permission. Cas tilted his head yes.

Out came what Dean thought was the best dick in the world. So responsive to his touch, something to be worshipped. Dean reverently moved his hand up and down the shaft, tugging at Cas’ balls and swallowing the other man down whole. If the hand that was suddenly in his hair was any indicator, Castiel was enjoying this. The noises he made certainly acknowledged the pleasure that was being given to him.

Dean ran his tongue along the underside of Cas’ dick, right along the vein. “Fuck!” Cas shouted. “Don’t stop, baby.”

That made Dean feel good. Needed. His mouth turned to a gentle vacuum, tonguing the slit and scraping his teeth against Cas’ dick lightly. Then he pulled off.

Castiel’s eyes were wild. “Holy shit,” he breathed, obviously taken off guard. “Hands and knees. Fuck the bedroom.”

Dean knew what Castiel wanted. He laid down, ass in the air and head on the ground. He was rewarded with a happy hum from behind and felt a wet stripe lick across his hole. Dean’s hips bucked forward with a moan, thrusting back again for more. “Please,” Dean whimpered, wrecked.

Castiel loved him like this. All wanting. “Relax, baby,” he murmured, blowing on Dean’s ass just a little. Enough to drive him crazy. Dean was making animalistic sounds, wanting more and more. Cas finally relented, grabbing the lube and putting in a single finger up to the knuckle. Dean sighed with relief.

“Come on, Cas, I know you’ve got more than that.”

Castiel smirked, sinking his entire finger in the tight heat that was inherently Dean. Dean pushed back, Cas could feel him just falling to pieces. Cas added another finger.

Dean whimpered. “Come on. I’m ready, Cas. Hurry up.”

Castiel smirked. “I know you’re ready, baby. I just like you sloppy and needy.”

Another finger, now stroking Dean’s prostate.

“Please!” Dean cried out. “Please.”

Cas finally relented, rolling on a condom that he pulled from his pants pocket (which was nearby) and slamming in all the way to the hilt. Dean moaned loudly, probably loud enough that the neighbors could hear it.

Castiel didn’t care. He kept going, pulling out just a little and pushing back in. Harder and harder, words encouraging him to just fucking move.

Castiel pushed, hitting that angle that had Dean crying out every time he hit it.

Both were panting when Castiel reached around to grab Dean’s throbbing cock, Dean too fucked-out to care. “Come on Dean,” Castiel encouraged. “Come for me. You’re my little slut, aren’t you?”

“-yes!”

Cas tightened his grip a little and commanded in a hoarse voice “Come!”

Dean listened for once in his damn life and came with his lover, panting and moaning.

Castiel pulled out with exquisite slowness, peppering Dean’s back with kisses. “Good boy,” Cas murmured, his hands massaging the knots in Dean’s back. “My good boy. You did so good. Listening to me like that.” Dean smiled, stretching out. Cas got up, realizing he would have to clean up Dean. Otherwise Dean woke up anxious and nervous, wondering what was happening to him. So that’s what Cas did.

Wandering to the next room, the bathroom, he got a washrag and wet it. He cleaned Dean up.

(sorry! I’m not quite sure how to write this. It kind of sucks. Leave comments if you want!)


	3. Angel With a Shotgun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I love you."
> 
> "What?"

Dean woke up to an empty bedroom. He looked around wildly; this was Castiel’s room. Not his, the guest room that he debated asking Cas if he could just rent out. “Cas?” he rasped, his voice hoarse from no use during the night. He cleared his throat. “Cas?” he asked again, much clearer this time. “Castiel?”

Where the hell was he? This was his house. He couldn’t have gone far. So Dean figures, yell again. Louder.

“Cas!” He shouts. “Castiel!”

Speak of the devil, Cas pops his head into the room. “May I help you, Dean? Without you waking up the neighbors?”

“What time is it? Where were you? Why weren’t you here?” The questions just tumble out of Dean’s mouth, one right after the other. Dean can’t help himself.

“Midnight. The kitchen. I got hungry, so I went to get a snack.” Cas answers the questions of his lover easily, flushed with happiness. “I wanted to show you something. Something I made.”

So Dean gets up, nice and easy, throwing on a pair of Cas’ boxers and padding softly out of the room. “What is it?”

“You’ll have to see,” Cas chuckled with a vague gesture. “It’s something I made myself. It took weeks, what with you being sick and there being work and all. But I had to get it perfect.”

And Castiel hands him a piece of paper. 

But it’s got something on it.

It’s a drawing. A beautiful drawing that seems to have taken months. It’s of Dean, Dean blushing, and Dean’s freckles, which he hates so much, outlined and pretty. Not pretty in the way that made people make lewd comments about his body or his mouth, but pretty in that way that makes him feel loved. And it’s hard to express how he feels about this stupid drawing. It shouldn’t nearly bring him to tears, but it does. And it’s stupid. Dean wipes away the salty droplets, sniffing.

“It’s beautiful, Cas, really.” Dean’s pulled himself together, so he’s okay now. He just chokes up a little.

“Freckles are referred to as angel kisses,” Cas jokes, placing tiny kisses all over Dean’s face. “I don’t think I got them all, but it’s a good place to start. If you want, I can try to improve it, but I don’t know that I can-“

Dean places his fingers over Cas’ mouth. “I love it. It’s perfect.” And the deal is sealed with a kiss, one of the happiest in Dean’s life that he can count so far. Then it slips out of his mouth.

“I love you, Cas.”

Cas looks a bit shocked. “Y-you what?” He asks, and Dean knows that the feelings aren’t reciprocated. “What did you just say?”

“I’m sorry. Forget I said anything. I didn’t mean to let it slip out. I didn’t mean it.”

And Dean can see Cas’ heart breaking from the last sentence. He opens his mouth again, but Cas waves him off.

“You didn’t mean it. Okay. Goodnight, Dean. I trust you will retire to your room.”

Dean knows he’s done something wrong. He just has no idea how to fix it. So he goes to bed angry, hands fisted in balls with white knuckles.

CAS POV

“I didn’t mean it.”

Those words break Castiel’s heart. Dean didn’t mean to say that he loves Cas? That he needs Cas? No. It couldn’t be like how Cas needs Dean. That could never happen, not in a thousand years. Not to a worthless piece of shit like Castiel. Why would Dean love him?

So he responds as coolly as possible.

“Goodnight, Dean. I trust you will retire to your room.”

And just like that, Cas has kicked him out of the bedroom. He makes a mental note to start asking Dean to pay rent, since this relationship means nothing to Dean anyway. Cas thinks of other ways he can make Dean subtly pay for this remark. For breaking Castiel. Because that’s how he feels.

Broken.

He was a fool for thinking that Dean could ever love him. Dean was his boss. Dean just looked to him for a quick fuck, that was all. Why should Dean think beyond what his dick tells him?

So Cas goes to his room, tears finally making their way down his cheekbones. They plop to the floor as Cas braces himself on his dresser, his face pained. Of course he feels this way. .Of course he fell in love with his boss, only to be rejected because his fucking boss couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t be straight. If he was straight, he wouldn’t be bringing Castiel this pain he’s feeling.

Castiel wishes he was never born.

He also makes up his mind. If he is in love with his boss, he can quit his job. Dean can still live with him. Cas can continue this charade in his head, like they’re a couple or a family that lives under the same roof. He can pretend all he wants, pretend the pain isn’t there, so he does. He pretends away.

Hours later, he sneaks down to Dean’s room and carefully, oh so carefully, lies down behind Dean. Why not? Nothing is stopping him. The picture in his head, the one where they have children running around the house happily, circle through Cas’ mind. Finally he falls asleep to a reality he knows can never come true.

****************************************************************

It’s a beautiful house. Big enough for the five of them, himself and Dean and their children, who Castiel always imagined would be named Noah, Emma, and Terran. Two boys, one girl, and a happy family with a white picket fence. They have a dog, a beagle, named Nigel and a cat named George. The dog was because of Dean. Castiel himself loved cats, so he got one. Dean was angry when he brought home George, but soon got over it when George had kittens and became Georgia. They had to give away all the kittens except the runt, who Dean was fiercely protective of because all the other cats ignored him.

It was pure happiness in Castiel’s head, happiness enough that when he woke up to Dean caressing his cheek, Cas smiled. Forgetting the love confession and the small fight over it. Because this is Cas’ home, right here with Dean, and he’s willing to fight for it. 

(sorry this one is a bit short. I wanted to end it here, and couldn't write the whole seven pages on the word document if I wanted it to end here. Thanks for reading!)


End file.
